THE VERY SMALL GIRAFFE

 

 

 

 

Once there lived

Such a small giraffe

Not a tall giraffe

But a small giraffe

Though he tried to walk tall

He was terribly small

And would tumble and fall

Would the small giraffe

And his brothers all laughed

Cos they thought him daft

But he stretched his neck

Said what the heck

I can reach to the top of the tree

And he gasped

As he stretched

Yes I can

No I can’t

And he stretched

And he grasped

Till he jetted to the top

Of a thorn-tree plant

On that plant was a very tiny ant

Well a wily old ant

And he heard him chant

If you wait a bit

You will grow a smit

And reach the top of the tree

 

Deep in the bog

Was a hungry frog

Not a great big frog

But a very tiny frog

With a great big plan

To cross the dam

What a great big job

For a very tiny frog

With a great big head

And his brothers all said

If you listen to us

You can hop on a bus

But you won’t hop over the dam

So he swam

And he sank

And he swam

How he stank

And he swam

And he sank

Till he reached to the edge

Of the farthest bank

On that bank dozed a crocodile

Yes a crocodile

And he had to smile

If you wait a bit

You will grow a smit

And hop right over the dam

 

Once there laboured

A stubborn mule

He was nobody's fool

And he stuck to the rule

But he dreamt away

As he laboured all day

That to live in style

One must live on the Nile

And his brothers all laughed

Cos they thought him daft

But he loaded his pack

And never turned back

And went in search of the Nile

And he'd trot

Not a lot

Cos a horse

He was not

And it got

Rather hot

And he pottered to a stop atop

A racing course

On that course

Was a racing horse

He was dumb of course

And was anyway hoarse

But together they went

One a thoroughbred gent

They went in search of the Nile

 

Never was the small giraffe

To repeat his gaff

Never was the hungry frog

To go hungry as a hog

While the thoroughbred horse

And the mule of course

Went off in search of the Nile

 

FIRST ENCORE

 

By the sea

Lived an elephant

Well a baby elephant

With one helluva rant

What he ranted about

Was a little in doubt

Cos he had to shout

Just to get a word out

And his brothers all laughed

Cos they thought him daft

But at last he spoke

In a very tiny croak

That he thought he needed to pee

Well a flea

Needs to pee

So it's said

Frequently

But he turned

Very red

And said he didn't like to pee

Against the chewing gum tree

Said that tree

If you need to pee

If indeed you must

If it's pee or bust

I can only suggest

Like your brothers and the rest

That you go and pee in the sea

 

Well the very small giraffe

Grew a metre and a half

While the very tiny frog

Acquired a taste for grog

While the mule and the horse

Never stumbled from their course

While the truly wily ant

Crawled upon the elephant

Who in a coy little vest

Like his brothers and the rest

Went out and peed in the sea

 

2ND ENCORE

 

Deep in the marsh

Lived a tall giraffe

Not a small giraffe

A giraffe and a half

Well his neck was so long

As he pottered along

There was something very wrong

With the tall giraffe

And his brothers all wept

Which he wouldn't accept

But his greatest cross

Was to be covered in moss

When his head got stuck in a tree

Well he pulled

At a piece

Which he thought

Was a twig

And he sought

What he thought

Was a pot full of grease

With a very greasy lid

Out he slid

Through a very twiggy grid

That is what he did

You can hold me to a quid

And he moved to a hedge

At the jungle edge

Never more to be stuck in a tree

 

The small giraffe on speck

Grew a very long neck

While the crocodile and frog

Slept together in the bog

And the mule and the horse

Kept on going of course

While the truly wily ant

Grew upon the elephant

Who set aside his vest

And went swimming with the rest

While the very tall giraffe

In a year and a half

Grew a great big family tree

 

3RD ENCORE

 

Everyone knows

That a camel gets the hump

As to why he gets the hump

Doesn't take a lot of gump

But it makes you think

That with nothing to drink

And with nothing in his hump

Is why a camel gets the hump

But he's left in peace

When the sheikh's with his niece

Said the sheikh one night

When I turn out the light

You may put your toe in the tent

While the sheikh

Was asleep

So the toe

Moved an inch

Then afoot

On a winch

Came a ten ton clump

A lump of mammal camel hump

In came the sheikh

He had been for a leak

And he cracked his whip

Which slipped and nipped him on the lip

To avenge the attack

The camel spat back

And hastily withdrew from the tent

 

Well the small and tall giraffes

Never did cross paths

While the crocodile and frog

Slept together in the bog

And the mule and the horse

Kept on going of course

While the truly wily ant

Grew upon the elephant

Who set aside his vest

And went swimming with the rest

While the camel and the herd

Never uttered a word

Of the sheikh and the flannel in the tent

 

© 2015 by Tim Higgs

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